And talking of rules, that is one of the first things you need to be doing – finding out what the rules are for the party you are at – ask your hosts, or look around, they may well be displayed throughout the premises if you are at a club. They will clearly state what is and isn’t allowed in the club, which can include anything from the use of cameras and phones to what to do if you have a problem.

 

There’s definitely a right way of going about behaving socially at a party. Putting it simply, be sociable. Talk to people, introduce yourself and chat. Exactly like you might do at a pub. A sense of humour is very important and a smile will go a long way. It’s worth remembering that many couples or singles at a party may not be interested in single males, but that doesn’t mean they won’t happily chat with you – just work the small-talk angle, and don’t fly straight in with questions about sex. You should also consider that simply because you are talking to someone, it does not mean they are going to play with you – take your time, and try and read the signals. The “what not to do” angle here is pretty much the opposite of above. You won’t get very far if you lurk in the shadows and don’t talk to anyone. The same is true if you pester people, or just follow them around in the hope they will notice you – they certainly will notice you, but for the wrong reasons and all that’s going to happen is you’ll annoy them – or worse, you may end up making someone feel uncomfortable, which will spoil their night. I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t want to be remembered as the guy that ruined someone’s night by following them around and being slightly creepy.

 

Just because a woman is at the party it does not mean she is going to have sex with you, or even be interested in you. Be respectful at all times! If a woman is part of a couple, make an effort to talk to both of them – A couple will make a decision together if they are considering inviting a single male to play with them. One of the worst things you can do here is ask a woman behind her partners back if she wants to play. They’ll say no, then go tell their partner. By all means when the time is right, let them both know you are interested and perhaps give them time to think about it and talk it over together.

Don’t touch!

 

Don’t grab, don’t pinch, don’t fondle – unless you have permission! The permission may not always be a verbal thing, especially if you’ve moved well into the flirting stage of conversation with someone – but again, at this point the signals would have been pretty clear. I can’t say it clearly enough, you never touch a woman without their direct permission and if in doubt, assume you don’t have it. Expect a strong reaction if you break this rule, and you may be asked to leave by the party hosts. You may see others doing different, but they will almost certainly know each other, so don’t be tempted to do what you see. Ignore this rule at your own peril. Don’t drink too much – a staggering slurring drunk is not attractive to anyone (with the possible exception of other staggering slurring drunks). You need to be sober enough to make sure you stay on the right side of the rules, and everyone can enjoy themselves.